Prioritizing Your Own Health as a Caregiver
- When you suddenly find yourself in the role of caregiver for a loved one with cancer, the lifestyle adjustment can be jarring.
- While many welcome the opportunity to care for someone they love, caregiving is a difficult job and it’s OK to feel stressed and overwhelmed. It’s normal.
- It’s important for caregivers to take time to themselves as well, not neglect their own health, and seek help and an outlet if they begin to struggle mentally.
- Some caregivers may need to seek traditional therapy or support groups, while others learn to cope through lifestyle interventions or creative outlets.
Filling a caregiver role can be extremely stressful and caregivers often neglect their own needs, which can create a host of additional problems.
Read MoreDon’t Hold in Your Feelings
Watching someone you care about struggle with illness is difficult enough, but to be suddenly dealing with the responsibility of caring for them can make the situation that much harder particularly if you’re nervous you’re not qualified. While you, of course, want to do all you can for your loved one, it’s important to acknowledge your own needs as well.
“When you find yourself suddenly having to care for somebody, to be the primary lifeline for them, you very well could have mixed emotions,” Pastor Tom Evans, who cared for his own father as he went through Alzheimer’s, told SurvivorNet. “Maybe it's anger. Maybe this person never cared for you in the past, and now you have to do it for them. And maybe you're gonna feel like you're selfish when you need a break.”
Pastor Tom Evans shares some advice for managing life as a caregiver.
Pastor Evans stressed that needing a break when you’re filling the role of caregiver is not selfish it should be expected. No one can be a caregiver 24/7, 365 days a year.
“So, you need to find time where you're not doing that and where others are helping you," he said. "In those frustrations and that anger, take time to find someone to express that to, whether it's a friend, whether it's a pastor, whether it's a neighbor, because as you work that out of your system, you'll be better able to be there for them."
Try ‘Realistic Optimism’
Negative thought patterns can make already difficult situations more of a challenge to handle. There is real power in positivity. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Dr. Samantha Boardman, a New York-based psychiatrist, said when patients are struggling with some pervasive patterns of negative thinking, she often works with them to try to deconstruct that mindset.
“Take a look at your beliefs. Do you have any sort of fixed belief that may be counterproductive, that are impeding you from taking positive steps? So something that’s holding you back, thinking, oh, this always happens to me, or maybe this is something that’s always going to be haunting me, or following me,” Dr. Boardman explained.
Dismantling these negative patterns of thinking can help you to be happier with yourself and to be a better caregiver. Dr. Boardman refers to this mindset as being “realistically optimistic” about your situation.
Take Time for Yourself, Too
Everyone needs time for themselves and if you have been in the house caring for a loved one for weeks, or even months, it’s natural to begin to feel burdened. To avoid creating problems for your own health, try to take time for yourself as often as you can. This could be as simple as a 30-minute walk every morning, taking in a movie at a theatre a few times a month, or hitting the gym for a run once or twice a week.
Pastor Evans noted that trying to be a caregiver 24/7 will “break anybody.”
RELATED: Caregiving Can be an Opportunity for Healing
If you can’t, or don’t feel comfortable, leaving the person you are caring for alone for any significant amount of time, ask for help. Maybe you have a friend or family member who can relieve you of caregiving duties a few times a week so you can tend to your own needs.
If you are struggling to find someone to stay with the person you care for, your community may have options for respite care or sitter-companion services. These terms refer to someone who can come to your home, get to know the patient, and occasionally visit to relief you of caregiving duties for a short time.
Don’t Neglect Your Basic Needs
People who take on caregiving roles often find themselves neglecting their own basic needs. But you’ll be a better caregiver if you also prioritize caring for yourself. Taking care of your health whether that be with diet, exercise, or making time for activities you enjoy is still critically important.
Julie Bulger gives some tips on how caregivers can care for themselves.
“It is important to have some things that you can do that’s kind of outside of the focus of caring for somebody that you love with cancer,” Julie Bulger, manager of patient and family-centered care at Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center in Nashville, told SurvivorNet. Bulger suggested caregivers find some activities that help them relax like taking a walk or going for a massage.
“…there’s a lot of opportunities for support virtually through educational resources, support communities,” she added. “You can talk to somebody. You can get therapy virtually now.”
Seek Professional Help If You Need It
When a stressful life event occurs like a loved one being diagnosed with cancer people respond in a variety of ways.
“The way people respond is very variable,” Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik told SurvivorNet. “Very much consistent with how they respond to stresses and challenges in their life in general.”
When struggling with a new stressor, there are many different and healthy ways to cope. Some people may seek out traditional therapy and there should be no shame in that.
Psychiatrist Dr. Lori Plutchik discusses how people respond to stressors in different ways.
If you are struggling mentally due to the stress of caring for a loved one, there are many options that may be able to help you cope. These include:
- Seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or therapist
- Learning healthy coping skills
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Adding more physical activity to your routine
- Adjusting your sleep schedule
- Connecting with others via support groups
- Mindfulness and meditation
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