‘What About Sex?’ — Ovarian Cancer Survivor Mareva Godfrey on Her Sex Life After Ovarian Cancer Treatment

Mareva Godfrey, who was diagnosed with ovarian cancer six years ago, lives in San Francisco. She talks about how important sex was for her and that it was a "big part of her personality and identity as a woman." Godfrey recalls arriving home after her treatment and thinking about how her orgasms would feel after she received treatment for her ovarian cancer. Even though her ovaries had been removed, she knew that there was still some estrogen secretion occurring in through her adrenal glands, but she wondered how this would affect her sex life generally.

Godfrey was particularly concerned with how her then partner, Mario, would view her after treatment. She was scared that her hair loss would make her less attractive and she admitted that, at first, Mario was affected by the changes. Over time, however, the couple was able to move past that.

Once getting over that initial hurdle, Godfrey began to explore what it meant to have a sex life after ovarian cancer treatment. She says that she still had a sex drive but that it was circumstantial. She wanted to figure out how she could pleasure herself in this new normal. She praised experimentation, saying that this was the time for her to try things she had never done before and to become comfortable with whatever felt good. Godfrey visited stores to buy sex toys, read provocative literature, and even watched videos to examine potential options for stimulation.

She did not want the cancer to affect her sex life and she said the "cancer never had me," determined that the intimacy she craves with her partner would not be taken away from her. She said that following her treatment she was open to trying things she never had before, and it was a time to become comfortable with anything that felt good. "It's so much freaking fun. Why would you give something like that up if you don't have to?"

Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy and health are important for a patient’s well-being. Physicians have discussed with SurvivorNet the questions they get from their patients about sexual health and intimacy.

One category of issues that occurs in women post-treatment is the physical changes often related to menopause: Vaginal dryness, hot flashes, or even discomfort during intercourse are some of the typical problems for ovarian cancer patients in the aftermath of surgery and chemotherapy. Patients could use over the counter vaginal lubricants to deal with vaginal dryness and discomfort. Over time, lubricants and other topical medications can actually strengthen the vaginal tissue, creating lasting and positive changes in an ovarian cancer survivor's sexual life.

There are other issues that are more psychological than physical. Often, patients will worry about potential internal damage that could arise from sexual activity. Likewise, patients are concerned about whether or not their partners find them attractive. These worries could affect sexual activity.

One doctor suggests that getting back in touch with familiar sexual behaviors and practices can be a first step toward normalcy. This reintroduction to sexual practices that previously felt comfortable can be a good jumping off point for partners to discuss their feelings about the emotional difficulties of fighting ovarian cancer, both as a patient and as a partner.

If issues arise, outside resources such as sexual health counseling, which may include both the patient and the partner, can help with the process of talking about it and addressing it.

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